Sports Stars Almighty
I collect things. When I was little, it was notebooks and pens. Now that I am grown up, it is esoterics. For instance, I like collecting stories/jokes/vignettes that show how much sports fans adore their stars, and sometimes God becomes a part. Here are some examples. (Anybody got anything on Babe Ruth?)
Ex 1. Wayne Gretzky, The Great One.
A hockey fan dies and goes to heaven. He sees two teams practicing in the hockey rink, one team wearing red jerseys with BG and one wearing white with GG. So he asks Saint Peter what is going on. "That is our weekly hockey game between the Good Guys and the Bad Guys", Saint Peter says. Then, before the game begins, a God-like form descends on to the rink wearing a jersey with WG on the back amidst thunder and lightning. The fan is confused and looks at Saint Peter, who says, "Oh, that's God. He thinks he's Wayne Gretzky."
Ex 2. Sachin Tendulkar, Plays a game with a bat and a ball aka Cricket.
A banner: "Commit all your crimes when Sachin is batting," it read. "They will go unnoticed because even the Lord is watching."
Ex 3. His Airness, Michael Jordan.
Jordan never really belonged to Chicago. He is, undisputably, property of the world, of the tribesman in Kenya and the monk in Tibet and the cabbie in Paris, who hears the word Chicago and winks. "Ah, Michael Jordan."
Ex 4. Tiger Woods.
Jesus and St. Peter are playing golf, and Jesus is having a terrible day, but insists on playing the ball out of the woods, out of the sand trap, over and over, always saying the same thing “Tiger Woods plays them where they lay, I play them where they lay” Finally he knocks a ball into the water trap. St. Peter tries to talk him out of it, but he repeats “Tiger Woods plays them where they lay, I play them where they lay” He walks out on the water, looking for the ball. A guy walks up to St. Peter points and says “Hey look at that guy! Walking on water... Who does he think he is... Jesus Christ?” St. Peter sighs and says “No... He Thinks he’s Tiger Woods.”
Ex 1. Wayne Gretzky, The Great One.
A hockey fan dies and goes to heaven. He sees two teams practicing in the hockey rink, one team wearing red jerseys with BG and one wearing white with GG. So he asks Saint Peter what is going on. "That is our weekly hockey game between the Good Guys and the Bad Guys", Saint Peter says. Then, before the game begins, a God-like form descends on to the rink wearing a jersey with WG on the back amidst thunder and lightning. The fan is confused and looks at Saint Peter, who says, "Oh, that's God. He thinks he's Wayne Gretzky."
Ex 2. Sachin Tendulkar, Plays a game with a bat and a ball aka Cricket.
A banner: "Commit all your crimes when Sachin is batting," it read. "They will go unnoticed because even the Lord is watching."
Ex 3. His Airness, Michael Jordan.
Jordan never really belonged to Chicago. He is, undisputably, property of the world, of the tribesman in Kenya and the monk in Tibet and the cabbie in Paris, who hears the word Chicago and winks. "Ah, Michael Jordan."
Ex 4. Tiger Woods.
Jesus and St. Peter are playing golf, and Jesus is having a terrible day, but insists on playing the ball out of the woods, out of the sand trap, over and over, always saying the same thing “Tiger Woods plays them where they lay, I play them where they lay” Finally he knocks a ball into the water trap. St. Peter tries to talk him out of it, but he repeats “Tiger Woods plays them where they lay, I play them where they lay” He walks out on the water, looking for the ball. A guy walks up to St. Peter points and says “Hey look at that guy! Walking on water... Who does he think he is... Jesus Christ?” St. Peter sighs and says “No... He Thinks he’s Tiger Woods.”
Labels: Non-CS
posted by metoo at 11:04 PM
8 Comments:
One more more on sachin tendulkar:
Cricket is our religion and Sachin is our god.
Indeed.
"I have seen God. He bats at number 4 for India"
- Mathew Hayden
I've heard a variant of #4 said using Arnold Palmer. This was in the days before Tiger Woods's domination.
-Amit C
I used to collect little animal and insects when I was kid, I really liked it because I spent many hours per day did it!!!, when I grow up I have been collecting calendars!
you know what was one of the most impressive thing in sports that I discovered in my life, that some sportmans believe in the flying spaghetti monster church.
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Sports Stars of Tomorrow (abbreviated SST) is a United States nationally-syndicated sports television show about high school and college athletics. The show, which is hosted by legendary broadcaster Pat Summerall, takes its viewers across the country in search of the brightest young stars in sports. Sports Stars of Tomorrow is the only high-school sports program in national syndication. The cable-only counterpart of SST is called Future Phenoms.
The show began in 2005 and provides in-depth feature stories about the top prep athletes in the United States. The goal of the program is to get an “off the field” look at the athletes, so they are frequently shown doing things like playing golf, strumming guitars, and studying. It is produced by GameDay Productions, a private television production company based in Fort Worth, Texas. When the show began in the fall of 2005 it reached out to just 20 percent of the country. Currently, it is airing in over 90 percent of all homes nationwide and can be seen in markets such as New York City (WABC-TV), Los Angeles (KCBS-TV), Chicago (WFLD), and Dallas-Fort Worth (KDFW).
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